So I debated on posting about this, but how silly to keep a prayer need to myself when I know I'm so loved and well cared for by my friends and family...
On Tuesday, Danny, Little one #2, and I came across a new hurdle. After taking my dogs to the dog park in the morning, I came home to find I had some mild bleeding. I of course immediately checked for the baby's heartbeat which even this morning sounds strong, and nice and fast (about 160bpm). I was able to get into the doctors where I saw the nurse practitioner. She performed a pelvic exam and was not able to see an immediate source of bleeding. She also looked for any infection which there was none. She said my cervix was most likely very vascular (which is very normal for pregnancy) and most likely was irritated during my walk. But, to be sure, she scheduled an ultrasound for Tuesday, March 1st. She assured me she wasn't worried, and that I should try to relax about the situation. Of course, easier said than done.
The bleeding had stopped that evening, but there have been small signs of some bleeding since. Nothing like on Tuesday. Danny and I are doing fairly well. I think just tired of worry, although we know from experience this is just the beginning. That's what happens when you fall in love. We are anxious and nervous. Taking one day at a time.
If I could please bother any of you for any prayer, it would be greatly appreciated. I think in my heart I know this baby will be fine, it's just daunting to think we still have 26 weeks to go, and we already know how much can change in just 1 day. I know it's best to not worry about the what if's, but, well... how can you not?
I've been praying myself that the Lord would strengthen my body, as I know I've come from one marathon and I'm pushing it to take on another. I'm praying for a healthy, strong environment for this baby to continue to thrive. I'm praying for the Lord to bless this baby's health and allow this little one to continue to grow strong. I'm praying the Lord continues to hold on to us as I feel our faith struggling. It's definitely more of a mustard seed at the moment.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit a struggle, but it's important to not avoid or hide where I'm at in this journey. I'm tired. I need help. I need your prayers.
~Love, Jess
Praying for ALL of you! They couldn't just do an ultrasound right there in the office? Sorry you have to wait until next Tuesday! It's hard...to know so many who have lost little ones before they even got a chance to know them...and even to have lost one we were blessed to know for 3 years... but we KNOW our God is in control and he will work things out for his will. It's hard to trust, b/c of our emotions, b/c you're right, it's hard to love and to lose...but we know with our heads that God loves us and wants the best for us. Keep praying...even when you doubt, just pray... I'm working on that too. It helps that I get an ultrasound every time I go to the doctor (b/c I'm "older")! Glad you have a heartbeat monitor at home. Will be praying for you.
ReplyDeletePraying for y'all is not a bother@all. I had quite a bit of spotting with Layton, and everything turned out just fine. Keep your faith even if it is just that of a mustard seed!! God knows your heart. We well keep y'all lifted up for sure!! Sending much love your way!!
ReplyDeleteEm and I love you three very much, and pray for peace of mind and spirit. We share with you in the cautious anticipation! You will never have an answer for the what if's and why's, but know that our love and prayers flow from our hearts to yours every day.
ReplyDeleteMike and Em
Thank you everyone. Your words bring so much peace. We love you all so much.
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