Happy Birthday Hannah Rose

   
      Where do I begin...  One whole year.  I'm not sure my heart can really grasp that.  I've thought about Hannah's birthday coming.  I watched the days tick by on my calander.  How do you celebrate for your daughter's first birthday when she's not here.  Her birth was one of the two happiest days of my life.  I thought I would want to "celebrate".  I couldn't.  What do you do with this day?

     Honestly, my heart is absolutely breaking today.  I can't help but cry.  I haven't let myself think too much about her birth, it's just a hurt I'm too exhausted to deal with right now.  I miss her.  I cannot believe a year has gone by. 

     Danny, Hope, and I have spent the day together.  We picked out some really pretty pink roses, four of them, one for each of us, and took them to Hannah.  It was Hope's first visit.  It was so gorgeous there.  It was warm, but you could feel Fall in the air.  It felt just like when we had Hannah.  It even smelt the same. 

     We've been so busy and so blessed with Hope.  Danny and I have spent a lot of time today talking about Hannah.  We've talked about what we've been feeling and where we are at with everything.  It's amazing how life moves on.  We were so blessed with Hope's pregnancy and thankful for the distraction it brought us.  We've talked about the blessing of having her in our arms while our hearts ache to hold her sister as well. 

     Our Lord has taken such care with our hearts.  When I look back on where we were and where He has brought us...Well, truly there are no words.  He has carried us and continues to carry us.  He is my rock.  He is my comfort.  He is my strength.  He is the one holding my baby girl and kissing her for me.

Dear Lord,
     I want to lift today up to you.  One year ago you blessed Danny and I beyond our imagination.  I thank you for Hannah and the opportunity to be her mommy.  I thank you for ten unbelievable days with her.  I thank you for the way she touched our lives and the lessons you have brought to us.  I have learned more about love in ten days from your tiny baby than I could have ever learned my entire lifetime alone.  Thank you for bringing so much light in the middle of our darkness.  I pray for Danny, that you would hold his heart so close to you while such a painful wound is reopened.  I pray for all our family, who's hearts are just as broken and missing Hannah.  I pray for Hope, that you would help her to know her sister and how much we love both of them.  I pray for all of our loved ones who continue, even a year later, to lift Danny and I up.  Thank you, God, for pouring your love out on us through so many.  I pray that you would watch over me and protect my mind and heart from the painful memories and flood me with all the happy ones.  Thank you for being my God.  Thank you for loving me.  All these things I ask in Your name, Amen.      


Happy Birthday, Hannah Rose.  We love you, Our Little One <3  Kiss Jesus for me!
Love,
Mommy, Daddy, and Hope!